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(as of Mar 10, 2025 02:31:02 UTC – Details)
From the author of the best-selling classics We’re Just Like You, Only Prettier and Bless Your Heart, Tramp comes a collection of essays so funny, you’ll shoot co’cola out of your nose.
Topics include such gems as:
Why Miss North Carolina is too nice to hate
How Gwyneth Paltrow wants to improve your pathetic life
Strapped for cash? Try cat whispering
Sex every night for a year? How do you wrap that?
Get yer Wassail on: It’s carolin’ time
Airlines serving up one hot mess
Action figure Jesus
Why Clay Aiken ain’t marrying your glandular daughter
And much more!
Complete with a treasure trove of Celia’s genuine southern recipes, You Can’t Drink All Day If You Don’t Start in the Morning is sure to appeal to anyone who lives south of something.
Customers say
Customers find the book humorous and enjoyable. They describe it as a nice, fun read with easy language that is relatable and absurd. The recipes are appreciated. Readers appreciate the author’s southern perspective and endearing touches.
Heather J. Davis –
You’ll have to take it to church with you!
I love Celia’s books… and I quite often stalk her website in the hopes that I’ll maybe stumble upon an announcement of a new book… So, when a few months back I discovered a new book was indeed coming out, I pre-ordered two. (I always get two of Celia’s books so that I can lend one out and keep one for my greedy self.)You Can’t Drink All Day does NOT disappoint its readers!! This book was so much fun to read and so laugh-out-loud funny that I had a hard time putting it down! I received my book on a Saturday afternoon and I did – indeed – sneak it into church with me Sunday morning. (Don’t worry, we’re Methodist … it’s not like I couldn’t slap a “Holy Bible” slip cover on it and get away with it! huminahuminahumina)I laughed hard and felt so connected to Celia during the entire book. I especially felt a connection when she discussed the passing of her father…having to deal with my own father’s cremains not that long ago, I appreciated her tenderness and humor to a subject that’s not always pleasant.I’m already on my second reading of the book and already back to stalking her site for news of the next book… I recommend that YOU do the same! 🙂
Annie Marie –
Keep this book nearby whenever you need a pick-me-up
I now own two copies of this book because I had to get the digital copy after my paperback copy had been leant out to too many friends on too many occasions and I was getting tired of not having it around when I just needed a good laugh. This is a fantastic book to take on a trip since the chapters are short and light-hearted. I look forward to reading more from the author.
Livy’sMamma –
You Can’t Drink All Day If You Don’t Start in the Mornin’
You know those goofy ice breaker questions people ask at corporate events? Things like “If you were stranded on an island, what three items would you want with you?” and “If you could be any ice cream flavor, what would you be?” My favorite though, is always, “If you could have a dinner party with anyone, living or dead, who would you invite?” It’s my favorite because most people try to do the ass-kissy thing and rattle off names like Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Abraham Lincoln, Shakespeare, some long lost great-great-grandparent, or even Jesus. I assume they think this makes them sound intellectual; the equivalent of a beauty queen claiming that her biggest wish is world peace. Typically, this is when I’m rolling my eyes.As with most things, my answer to this question is usually…askew…from most. My fictional dead-or-alive dinner party would include people like Lucille Ball, Chelsea Handler, Tina Fey, Joan Rivers, Jen Lancaster, Fanny Flagg, Erma Bombeck….basically a rotating list of funny women. I can only imagine the ab workout I’d walk away with after a vodka soaked evening with these ladies.Well, I’m happy to announce I have found a new additional to my imaginary girl-fest: Celia Rivenbark. She has been popping up as a recommended author on both Amazon and Goodreads lately, and frankly when I saw the title, “You Can’t Drink All Day If You Don’t Start in the Mornin'” I pretty much couldn’t resist. I mean, who could?Reading Celia Rivenbark feels a little like sitting on a sunny southern porch with a good friend, sipping cocktails and gossiping about the neighbors as they walk by. Not that I’ve even done that. Or even been to the south, really. But Rivenbark paints such a vivid image of the south, I can see it.”You Can’t Drink All Day If You Don’t Start in the Mornin'” is a collection of essays covering things like what life much be like for a Jesus action figure sitting on a Walmart shelf, the annoyance of Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle advice, the all too familiar pain of finding pants that fit, and how a southern mamma is supposed to compete with homemade bento boxed lunches popular in Japan.No matter what she’s talking about though, Rivenbark does it with – I almost said “down-home charm” – but that sounds really cliché and insulting. Her voice is not the over exaggerated folksy southern twang you see on TV (I’m looking at you GCB). This is a real woman with a real voice. One that speaks to the reality of life for the average woman in America. A really funny average woman in America who would rather spy on her new neighbors while half-paying attention as her daughter sets up her facebook account. A really funny average woman in America who made me laugh my ass off. Out loud. Often.Apparently I am late to the party once again. “You Can’t Drink All Day If You Don’t Start in the Mornin'” is Rivenbark’s 5th book. That means I need to get cracking on the other four. That way I’ll have plenty to talk about during our dinner party.More Review here : […]
mtaabq –
I love Celia Rivenbark!
When times are tough and you need a laugh here’s what you do, sugah — fix yourself a tall glass of sweet tea, get yourself a dish of nuts and arrange some cheese straws, finger sandwiches and deviled eggs on a plate. Then, curl up in your favorite corner and read “You Can’t Drink All Day If You Don’t Start In The Morning” or any of Miz Riverbark’s hilariously funny books. Her latest tome simply reinforces the fact that Miz Riverbark has got to be one of the funniest — if not THE funniest — women on the planet today. I discovered her quite by accident quite a few years ago and now I live for new material from this self-described “tarnished Southern Belle”. ~sigh~ We haven’t heard much from her lately as, it turns out, she’s been nursing her husband (affectionately referred to as “duh-hubby” in her books and columns) during his recent cancer treatment. And, bless her heart, both she and duh-hubby manage to find the humor in that! I wish both Miz Rivenbark and duh-hubby the best. In the meantime, when skies are gray and your 401k is a shadow of its former self and you need a pick-me-up, read something — anything! — by Celia Riverbark. You’ll be glad you did.
A. Nink –
A quick laugh
It’s short, its sweet, and it made me chuckle. Not a Jen Lancaster belly-laugh or a Jen Lawson crying-its-so-funny laugh, but it was a nice read. I probably would have laughed more if I was from the south, as there are a lot of references to life in the Carolinas.
Pinky –
Too funny!
I am so delighted that I discovered this author’s works before heading out on vacation! Hilarious!!! Easy to read and hard to put down, Celia’s wit (and wisdom) is apparent (even to this Yankee!) from the very first page, all through the book. I don’t expect it to land back in my home anytime soon, as it’s already been passed from friend to friend to daughter to daughter-in-law……
Sidonie –
I love Celia Rivenbark so much. She’s gloriously, wittily jaundiced but there’s love and warmth there too.
Joanne –
great